


Private Situation

by itsaquinnquinnsituation



Category: The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green (2005)
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Gen, M/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:03:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2755466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsaquinnquinnsituation/pseuds/itsaquinnquinnsituation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just that :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Private Situation

**Author's Note:**

> None of the characters or the plot of the original movie belong to me. I am not making money off my work, which is written for entertainment purposes only. No offence or copyright infringement intended. Just a bit of harmless fun :)
> 
> This is my universe and exactly how I see it. Writing should be enjoyed, not judged.
> 
> What? How can this be the first work in this fandom? Oh well, someone does have to start...
> 
> I highly recommend everyone to watch this movie.

“Well, is it straight now?”

“No.”

“How about now?”

“No.”

“Now?” 

“No!”

“Okay, you know what, Ethan,” - Leo let go off the one half-secured curtain piece, stepped off the chair and shoved a pack of safety pins into his boyfriend’s hands, - “How about we just buy some plastic hooks and hang it up that way!”

“No…” – Ethan whined, - “Then it’s going to look like a shower vinyl and tacky!” – He tried to pass the safety pin box back to Leo.

“Well, then *you* get up there and do it!” – Leo raised his hands up and stepped back.

“I’m not tall enough!”

“You’re shorter by less than two inches!”

“Well, two inches can make all the difference! If you know what I mean…”

“No, I don’t, and, you know what, Ethan, I think I’ve had enough!”

“Leo, it’s just the left corner… Leo, where are you going? Fuck, Leo!” – He stomped his foot petulantly and the second giant velvet curtain piece, the one that he was holding, moved gracefully like Scarlet O’Hara’s dress. 

In less than a minute, Leo rushed right back in.

“Give me the keys!”

“What keys?”

“The keys to the safe… God, Ethan, *the car keys*!”

“What?”

Leo motioned:

“Give me the car keys!”

“What gives you the right…?”

“It’s my car!”

“It’s only *eighty-five percent* your car, mind you, I had to work hard to pay for those fifteen percent!” – He pressed his lips and gave Leo his bitch face.

Leo growled quite rather lion-like.

“And where are you going to go, anyway?”

“Away from you!”

“What, you are leaving me?”

“Yeah, and maybe in my absence you can find a better curtain installer!”

Ethan blinked at him, considering, then opened and closed his mouth, and, finally, stepped back, scrunching his face:

“Okay. You can leave…”

Leo waited.

“…but the car keys are in my back pocket. So get them yourself, but remember – since you have just officially left me – if you touch my ass, I’ll have to call the police… for… lascivious misconduct!”

Leo blinked helplessly:

“Lascivious… wh…what?”

“Yeah” – Ethan gestured, - “W… isn’t that the right word? Hang on, let me look up the definition…” – He whipped out an iPhone.

“Hey, that’s *my* phone!” – Leo jumped over and snatched it out of his boyfriends’ hands, - “Ethan, why don’t you ever use *yours*?”

“You’ve got an unlimited data plan! Plus, since my mother gave you that Apple store gift card…”

“Yeah, I’ve been starting to wonder what all those apps polluting my home screen were!”

“They are important!”

“Oh, I have no doubt! What is this one… “Make me…” …what?”

“It’s fashion, Leo, you either get it or you don’t!”

“… And I obviously don’t…”

“Obviously!” – Ethan paused and gave Leo a full-body once-over, - “But there’ve been some improvements…”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been dressing better since you stopped frequenting that second-hand store!”

“I’ve only stopped going there, Ethan, if I need to remind you, because you secretly followed me there and then threw a tantrum in the middle of women’s lingerie aisle…”

“*Used* women’s lingerie…”

“Yeah! And since then, both of us have been banned…”

“So it did serve the purpose…”

Leo blinked, then shook his head and sighed, face instantly sad and resigned:

“Why do you care so much about these curtains, Ethan?”

“Because!” – Ethan considered it and also changed his tone, - “I would just hate it if… you know, you work so much, and then you come home and…” – He pointed to loose packaging plastic on the floor, - “It all looks like this!...”

“Ethan, we just moved. I don’t expect it to look any different…”

“Yeah, but I want to…” – He motioned, looking for a word, - “Ahh, Leo, I just want you to like it, that’s all. I want you to want to be home!”

Leo exhaled in apparent disbelief:

“But I do! I do, and it has nothing to do with the curtains!”

“Yeah, you’re right…” – Ethan threw the velvet piece he was holding onto the floor and stepped closer, - “I’m sorry.”

Leo enveloped him in a hug and Ethan slid his fingers under his shirt. He rubbed his fingers:

“What’s that you’re wearing underneath? Polyamide?”

Leo released him:

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah! You know, I did mean it, when I said that you’ve been dressing better!”

“What is that, like a pat on the back?”

“To myself, yeah. Don’t you think I deserve it? Let me remind you that I spent two full weekends purging your wardrobe and refilling it with much more flattering stuff.”

“I never quite understood why…”

“Because!” – Ethan threw up his hands, - “It just always seemed to me, Leo, like you were… like you are afraid to show off your body…”

“Yeah, and why would I want to, would be my question? I mean, why would I want to do that for the rest of the world? I do that for you in a… ugh… in a… private situation… which…. Which, by the way, Ethan, you will never be able to experience anymore unless we hang up that goddamn thing because I’m sure as hell not taking this shirt off with half of our block having the view!”

“Oh!” – Ethan immediately sized up the situation, then rushed to the window and tugged the one half-secured piece of curtain into the middle of the window, adjusted it, looked it over, adjusted it again, and, satisfied, turned back to Leo:

“There! Do you think that that works?”

Leo raised his hands:

“Uhm…”

“Is this means of privacy acceptable to you enough to have a private situation… right now?”

Leo blinked:

“What?”

But Ethan had already moved in and placed his hands on Leo’s waist.

“Ethan!” – Limited by his boyfriend invading his personal bubble, Leo had no choice but to lower his hands on Ethan’s shoulders.

“What do you say?”

Leo cocked his head and squinted with a poorly hidden smile:

“I thought I told you I was going to leave…”

Ethan returned the smile:

“Great, do you still need those car keys?”


End file.
